miércoles, 16 de octubre de 2013

Broken dreams

This entry is surely going to be the least pleasant of all, due to how painful the subject is for those who have suffered it by themselves. Or maybe for you, you may find yourself in the middle of pregnancy and it will not be nice to read this, or maybe because you just experienced this situation.

The reason that led me to write this post is because even being the content not nice or the subject, the fact is that abortion is part of life and there are many families who have had to experience the shock of going through it.

Before continuing , first I want to send my support and strength to those who have passed or are now going through this unpleasant experience .
The purpose of this post I have written , not to delve into the wound , but only provide information that you can provide help to you or to inform you.

First ask everyone sensitizing s to something like this and tell people, some of them short in social skills fates , who seek conformity or just try to forget that stage taking it to a minor degree of anecdote . These are people who when they are in the situation to relate to any couple who has just gone through the painful experience of loosing a baby , so just tell them sometimes with a simple "sorry" gets much better and if not, in a doubt, better say nothing .

It is true that sometimes with the intention of "trying to help " (but not achieved ) , we use niceties ( I've heard and I did not assume  very well ) as " it does not matter " , "nothing happens " , " you're still very young "and so on they can do much harm , either intentionally or not.

Let's see, an abortion is the interruption of a life that was desired and expected .

It is true that depending on the time of pregnancy and abortion rate (natural or induced under medical recommendation ) , the consequences may be more or less psychologically deep.

As I said , an abortion is an interruption of a life desired and expected by  the parents. This implies a loss in the family level , which makes the development of a period of mourning.

During the mourning period we should support and respect the parents , because even if the baby is carried in the body of the mother, the father also experienced as his loss and also started his own mourning. This point seems to be something that we  sometimes forget.

It is difficult to talk about how to act as each case is special and different , but I can say that it is important to begin by passing and assimilating what happened , to be supported , specially your partner (although this must be mutual , because the loss is of the two) , relatives and closest friends .

Any person who suffers an abortion lives their private mourning and feelings , which expresses as you know, feel or need .

It does not exist an estimated time to determine how long a normal mourning period lasts. Nor  there are  specific behavioral guidelines for parents who have gone through this trance, which is one of the most painful of their life.

I should say, if after a year sequelaes are still too deep and do not get overcome or coped with depressed mood and has become our way of life, it should be convenient to ask for a specialist who can help us.

Major psychological disorders

- Feelings of guilt .

- Fear.

- Despair .

- Anxiety .

- Anguish.

- Sadness

In this issue there is a big question , which at the same time can also create disturbances

Both for society and for the administration , state or bureaucracy , the woman who has lost a child born alive (no matter how old this one is) she has been a mother and her pain is understandable .

But what about the woman who has suffered the loss of an unborn child ? That woman has not been a mother ? This can upset the woman , since she has felt during pregnancy maternal instinct and felt mother and has lived as such from the moment she knew  of her condition and her care contributed to favor her son and likewise she exercised her  duties she is entitled to have her mourning.

"Only dreams and memories are true , to the deceptive falsehood of what we call the present and reality. " Alejandro Dolina

Many women decide to give a name to her unborn child, and remember the "important" dates of your baby as the date on which the abortion occurred , or the date of delivery , getting to count the years that now their child would have.
I encourage all those couples who have gone or are going through this situation to support each other and try to overcome it. They talk about what happened when they need it , to be heard , to express themselves in need as well talking , crying , remembering their baby. But it is important to hang on to life and look forward strongly.

As anecdotal note (shame of story ) just inform you that you are not alone , that there are many couples who go through an abortion . You have only to search for statistics out there about pregnancy ended with no babies alive and you will see that it did not happen to you alone. Even if it's a shame you live as a tabu subject and hide like a shame.

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